BREAKING XMAS NEWS: Get Paid to Kill Wild Animals!

santa paying the bills

Holy shiz! That’s SOOO newsworthy!!!!!

At least that’s what the Boston Gazette thinks, because that’s basically their front page headline this Christmas.

The new law they’re referring to authorizes, “the killing of Wolves, Bears, Wild Cats, and Catamounts within the Province.” The law rewards the following:

  • Every grown wolf: 4 pounds
  • Every baby wolf: 40 shillings
  • Every grown wild cat: 10 shillings
  • Every baby wild cat: 5 shillings

Hey, who are we to judge?? Santa’s gotta pay for those presents somehow!!!!!! 

Merry ChristopherColumbusmas!!!

America is Drinking Beer and Going to Church Because…

Filed under: 1750s > 1753 > God > Holidays > Ireland > St. Patrick's Day > Firsts >

st patricks day

It’s just another day!

LOL, JK… it’s St. Patrick’s Day!!!!!

America has adopted the Irish holiday that commemorates Saint Patrick, a patron saint of Ireland who converted the people to Christianity. On March 17th, St. P-Diddy’s deathday, the people drink, drink, drink until they puke, pray, eat and wear shamrocks. St. P-Diddy is said to have used the green clover to explain the Holy Trinity to non-Christians.

Oh, and did we mention St. P-Diddy WASN’T EVEN IRISH???? He was born and raised in Britain before being kidnapped by the Irish and turned into a slave. 

Lovely!

Let’s cheers to that!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, BITCHES!!!!

Filed under: Holidays > Witches >

Yay! We finally get to talk shiz about witches, get fat and wear our sexy Puritan costumes OUTSIDE of the house!!!

Halloween got its start in Europe with the Celtics. They believed that on their New Year’s Eve (October 31st), the world of the dead and living intertwined. In order to scare off the dead from harming their families and crops, the Celtics wore scary costumes to blend in with the ghosts and offered tasty treats for them outside their doors.

Well those days are over, gurl! We are keeping ALL that candy for ourselves!!

What’s UR favorite part of Halloween??????