Britain Passes the Currency Act to Eff Americans!!

bloody bastards

O no they din’t!!!!!!!!!!!

The motherland, Great Grandma Britain, has screwed us all again.

Parliament passed the Currency Act to restrict the British colonies from circulating paper money, which they had started distributing as an “IOU” to pay for military expenses during the French and Indian Wars. Since more paper money has been issued than what has been taxed, the value of the money depreciated compared to the British pound.

So, the paper money is now only good for paying taxes, but NOT for buying personal things.

Guess we can finally make that papier-mâché mask of Bach’s face that we always wanted…

Frenchmen and Indians Raid Town in mASSachusetts

jean baptiste hertel de rouville

More war, more tragedy.

Now being nicknamed “The Raid on Haverhill”, Jean-Baptiste Hertel de Rouville led French and Indian forces in a surprise attack against Haverhill in mASSachusetts killing 16 people and kidnapping a rumored 20. Our sources say that they were originally supposed to attack a bunch of communities along the Piscataqua River, but the Indians were unwilling to agree to that so the French changed their plans at the last minute. 

We have to admit - we’re shocked!!! The Indians UNWILLING to kill more than they have to??? Maybe Piscataqua River peeps are their main suppliers of alcohol?!

That would be the only thing that makes sense to us!!!

Frenchmen and Indians Kill & Kidnap Massachusetts Peeps

deerfield raid

Run for your lives!!! The Indians are thirsty for more blood!!!!!

France and England are once again fighting for control over America in what is being called “Queen Anne’s War.” The sneaky little French have convinced local Indians to attack Deerfield, mASSachusetts because they’re pissed that the English keep settling in the north. French and Indian forces killed approximately 56 people and kidnapped over 100 in the middle of the night!!!!!

Yeeesh! Thank goodness we sold our vacation home in Deerfield… we could have been KILLED!!!

We hope those who have been kidnapped are returned safely.

New France and New England Go to War

king williams war

Yuck!! War is dumb!!!!

New France and New England, along with their Indian allies, are fighting for control over American territory. It all started when England’s Indian allies attacked the French near Montreal. In retaliation, the French are planning to attack the English-controlled Albany

YAWN. 

Give us something to work with, people! How about another dose of scandal, affairs and love triangles instead??