Pervy John Adams Marries His COUSIN!!!!!!!!

Filed under: 1764 > John Adams > Abigail Adams > Weddings > 1760s > Top 10 >

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OK, so it’s his third cousin, but we still barfed a little!

Lawyer John Adams, almost 29, has wed his third cousin, 19-year-old-ish Abigail Smith. Supposedly, Pervy John Adams was really turned on by his family member a quiet, young girl who is knowledgeable about philosophy, politics and poetry.

OOooh, the three P’s!

Apparently that’s all it takes to throw all morality outside the carriage window!!

Nooooooooo!!!!! Hawtie Washie Marries Martha Dandridge Custis!!!!

You might as well bury us because we DIED from this news today.

George Washington married his stoopid girlfriend, Martha, 27. MILF Martha already has four children from a previous marriage, who was an old rich guy that died a couple years ago.

Four kids???????

Her vajayjay must be HUGE. 

At the wedding, Washie wore a blue and silver cloth suit with red trimming and gold knee buckles while MILF Martha wore purple silk shoes with spangled buckles.

Ew. Purple on your wedding day is so tacky!!!

Do U think MILF Martha is good enough for Hawtie Washie?