Benjamin Franklin Says, “Join, or Die”!!!!

join or die

When did BJ Franky Franks become such a psychopath?????????

In what is being called the first 'death threat via newspaper' ‘political cartoon’ in America, BJ Franky Franks has published this freaky ass snake in the Pennsylvania Gazette. It is his way of urging the very fragmented British colonies to unite in order to kick French butt over control for America.

Note that Delaware and Georgia are NOT included in this cartoon. 

Threatening the American people AND dissing two colonies??? Tsk tsk. Didn’t mama teach you ANYTHING?

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!!!!

Stono Rebellion: Largest Slave Uprising EVER in America

slave rebellion

It was probs originally the “Stoned Rebellion" because the slaves must have been high as kites to go through with this cray-cray uprising!!!

Led by a slave named Jemmy, nicknamed “Cato,” 20 fellow slaves gathered near the Stono River in South Carolina on a Sunday when white people were at church. They marched towards a slave-free Florida with a sign that said “Liberty!”, recruiting more than 80 slaves and killing anyone who tried to stop them along the way. 

South Carolina Lieutenant Governor William NoBullShit wasn’t pleased with Cato’s uprising, so he sent a militia down to stop them. The slaves fought like hell, but the white people killed or captured most of the rebels.

Who knew Florida was full of freedom-loving hippies?????

HMMMmmmm…. our beach house on the Jersey Shore is SO last decade. Maybe we’ll relocate!!!

Indians Throw a Hissy Fit And Attack South Carolina

Filed under: 1715 > Indians > South Carolina > Carolinas > 1710s > Slavery >

indians

Omg, can someone lend these Indians a tampon already????

The PMSing Yamasee Indians have complained forever that their new white neighbors have been trading unfairly. Fair or not, the YamaPEE have racked up some serious debt and owe the people of Charles Town tons of money. As payment, the settlers have kidnapped and sold YamaPEE women and children into slavery. This made the YamaPEE really pissed, so they’re killing every white person in sight.

If trading was so unfair, why did they keep doing it??? Weren’t they perfectly happy with what they had before the settlers got there???

They really just can’t control themselves.