Srsly??? How is slavery STILL acceptable?!?!
The Virginia Slave Code has laid down the law and it ain’t pretty! It declares non-Christian servants entering the colony to be slaves; acquits masters who have killed slaves during punishment; outlaws slaves and free colored peeps from physically assaulting the whites; and prohibits slaves from bearing arms or moving abroad without permission.
And you call that a life??? Even animals have more rights than that!
How long do U give it before the slaves revolt again????
Hallelujah!!!
Frenchman Elias Naud said the slaves, “who were without God in the world and of whose souls there was no manner of care taken,” needed someone to show them the light of God. He has now opened a school to teach slaves all about the principles of religion.
Ugghhh, why didn’t we think of that??? He’s definitely going to Heaven now!!
Good job, suck up Elias!
Good for them!!!!
In Germantown, Pennsylvania, a group of Quakers have signed a petition to protest slavery. As Quakers who were so wrongly persecuted overseas for their religion, they can’t understand how some of their fellow English settlers could be so quick to persecute others.
For reals!! We do NOT understand how these new Americans can be such hypocrites.
Hopefully change is a’comin!!!!
Yikes.
Apparently slaves have been meeting undercover at slave funerals to plot against the white people around town. The plan was to murder the whites and escape during a mass funeral. When the whites caught wind of it, the leaders of the plan were executed. They have also banned slave funerals to prevent any further undercover plotting.
Murder plots ARE bad, but how can you ban funerals??? You can’t ban people from dying, so that’s just a weird punishment!!
We had a sneaking suspicion people in Virginia weren’t exactly the most yellow kernels on the cob!
So dumb.
Slaves just can’t catch a break.
England is apparently obsessed with hot drinks right now, because there is an intensely high demand for hot cocoa, tea and coffee. Since most of the sugar comes from America, England is telling the American slaves to work hard and fast to send them sugar ASAP.
Did you hear that, slaves??No rest for you!!! You don’t want the guilt of knowing there are rich people in England who can’t drink hot chocolate after their five-couse meal their cooks prepared for them!!
That would be a tragedy!
Ouch! Delaware doesn’t mess around!!!!
A Swedish explorer living in Delaware, Marcus Jacobson, managed to convince some townsfolk to rebel against English authority so that the Swedes could rule the province. Of course, he was taken to court and found guilty in the first trial by jury in Delaware.
He is sentenced to a severe public whipping, branding on the FACE and chest with the letter “R” (for “Rogue”) and, finally, he will be sold to a plantation to become a slave.
We’ll make sure to do all of our illegal activity outside Delaware’s borders.
LOL!
Remember how John cockbLocke was a “live-in doctor” for one of the eight Lord Proprietors of Carolina, Anthony Ashley Cooper, 1st Earl of Shaftesbury??
Well now Tony Cooper’s ”doctor” has become his bitch “secretary.” CockbLocke supposedly had a big hand in crafting the new Fundamental Constitutions of Carolina, which is a blend of both liberal and feudalist ideas. One important note: While the new constitution provides for religious tolerance, it also gives complete power to an owner over his slave.
That’s funny, our sources tells us cockbLocke is AGAINST slavery. Now he’s writing about how slaves can be 100% owned by their masters??????
Either he’s a TOTAL hypocrite or this is part of some weird sex fetish where cockbLocke wants to be legally owned by his master, Tony Cooper.
We’re going to assume the latter. Ha!!
Sorry, slaves.
Virginia has passed a law stating that Christian baptism will NOT alter a slave’s legal status.
We don’t agree with slavery or anything, but we’re not really sure how those two things are related. We guess someone somewhere assumed that converting would free them from their owners.
Oh well. Looks like it’s time for them to find a plan B.
We think running away would be a good start!
We knew all hell would break loose sooner or later!
Our sources say both white servants and black slaves in Gloucester County, Virginia schemed to cause harm to their owners and break free, but they were ratted out before the plan was successful by one of their own. An indentured servant named Berkenhead received 5,000 pounds of tobacco and freedom for tattling on his fellow conspirators.
5,000 pounds?! That should last him a couple of days!
Supposedly, their bloody heads now sit on the chimney tops of houses as a warning to others. Ew!!
We hope Berk the Jerkenhead is happy living off his tobacco with the blood of his brothers and sisters on his hands.
Welp! News like this always makes us hold our breath.
If you haven’t already heard from your pastor, shoesmith or neighbor, there have been some SERIOUS updates to laws on slavery around the colonies.
First of all, Virginia enacted a hereditary slavery law, so if the mother is a slave her child will also be a slave. Also in Virginia, if a Christian has sex with a black man or woman, they will pay some heavy duty fines. Finally, blacks in Massachusetts are no longer allowed to train in arms.
Dayum, we better start saving up!!! After all, once you go black, you…
Have to pay some heavy duty fines!!
