Stamps DON’T Bore People to Death in the Stamp Act of 1765

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Oh. Em. Gee.

WHO CARES??? Is this seriously the biggest deal of the year?!?!? Someone have an affair already!!!

British Parliament has imposed a tax on stamped paper and other printed materials in America to help pay back the debt caused by the costs of British military presence during the Seven Years’ War.

Two tax acts within two years???

Someone get the British P-funks a tampon already. This is the longest case of PMS we’ve ever seen!!

Seven Years’ War Ends with the Treaty of Paris

Good thing we’ve been on the Starvation Diet this week, because we are gonna stuff our faces with crumpets to celebrate!!

In the Treaty of Paris, France had to let go of all its territory on the North American mainland. The British received the land east of the Mississippi, while Spain received everything to the west. France had already secretly given Louisiana to Spain in the Treaty of Fontainebleau.

Au revoir, bitches!! It was nice knowing ya and your fatty macaroons!!!!

Whose peace party are U going to attend???

INTERCEPTED!!! Louisiana Goes Slutty in Top Secret Treaty of Fontainebleau

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Ummmmm, guys. This is bigger than Martha Washington’s hairdo!!!!!!

The Brits kicked France’s booty in The Battle of Signal Hill in 1762, which basically confirmed the Brits as the official controllers of Canada. In the secret treaty that followed this battle, “Treaty of Fontainebleau,” France gives (GASP!) Louisiana to Spain.

France is keeping this land exchange hidden from the Brits because they are sneaky little snakes.

Secrets, secrets are no fun… but they sure make for good gossip!!!!!!!!

LOLOL.

The Indians Eff Up More Military Operations

For once, we wish the Indians would just surprise us and actually DO what they’re told!!

After days of fighting, the British finally surrendered Fort William Henry to the Frenchies. The terms of the surrender included that the Brits also peacefully withdraw from another one of their forts, Fort Edward, while the French military protected them. 

SO, guess what happens next???

The French-Indians said, bitch plz! They went against the agreement, killing and scalping a TON of defenseless Brits who were evacuating Fort Edward.

And we thought WE had anger issues.

Can anyone recommend a good therapist for the entire Indian population???

Great Britain Declares War on the French

Filed under: 1756 > 1750s > War > Seven Years' War >

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When we’re craving chocolate, we want to murder someone, too!!!!!!!

Almost two years since the fighting first began in America, Europe has decided to get in on the action. Great Britain has officially declared war on the Frenchies.

We REALLY want GB to win so they can turn the French into crepe-making servants.

Fat IS the new thin!!!!!!