Ermahgerd! War in America Over a WOMAN!!!

maria theresa

Get over it, bb! Women should have equal rights, too!!!!

In Europe, the War of the Austrian Succession started when the Holy Royal Emperor, Charles VI, passed away and his daughter, Maria Theresa, succeeded his place on the throne. France doesn’t believe a woman should be in power, so they’ve been fighting to overthrow her. England, on the other hand, actually has a brain and has been fighting to keep her there. 

Now the war has moved across the Atlantic in a series of military operations being called King George’s WarFrench and English colonies are murdering the crap out of each other, but it’s too soon to tell who is winning.

Who knew France would be SO threatened by a vagina!

What do U think?? Should women be in power?????

King George I Kicks the Bucket

Filed under: 1720s > 1727 > R.I.P. > Royals > King George I >

king george

Everyone’s gotta die sometime!

The ridiculed and disliked King of Great Britain has died after suffering a stroke. The old geezer was thought to be “too German” in his ways and pretty unintelligent in general. Most people even claim he couldn’t speak or understand English since he was raised in Germany. His son, George II, will be succeeding his father’s place on the throne.

Holy cow! How can you NOT speak the language of the country you’re ruling?!?

Hopefully George II doesn’t suck as bad as his old man.

Move Over, Bach!!! We Can’t Even Handle Handel!!!

Filed under: 1710s > 1717 > Music Minute > Royals > Handel >

handel and the king

We’d like to wrap our hands around that Handel and drink him up!!!!!!!

George Frideric Handel blew our f*cking minds with his Water Music orchestral movements that he played for the new King George I and all his BFFs.

We heard a rumor that he composed Water Music specifically for the King to get on his good side because he screwed him over back in the day. The story goes that before he was king, George had employed Handel in Hanover, but Handel ditched the gig to move to London.

The King better forgive him! We need more Handel!!!


Sex God Queen Anne Has Passed Away

Filed under: 1710s > 1714 > R.I.P. > Royals > Queen Anne >

queen anne dead

So unbelievably sad.

After getting seriously ill and suffering a stroke, Queenie Annie has died at 49 years old. The official cause of death is said to be the result of an infection. She will be buried in Westminster Abbey beside her husband and children.

Even though she was preggers 17 times, none of her kids survived her. George I of the House of Hanover, Anne’s second cousin, will reign as King.

That little slut was having a lot of sex to get sperminated 17 times!!! May she have lots of little angel babies in Heaven.


King Charles I Gives Colonists Right to General Assembly

Filed under: 1630s > 1639 > New World > King Charles I > Royals >

king charles i not giving a shit

That’s a bold move!! 

King Charles I is now allowing British colonies in the New World to call their own General Assembly. That means the colonists can now partially self-rule themselves. 

We’re SHOCKED that he thinks they’ve done a good enough job to start semi-ruling on their own!! Now the real question is, is King Charles I really just lazy???

Let the hard-pAArtying fun begin, New World!!!