William Penn’s Wife is Committing SHADY Crimes

Filed under: 1710s > 1712 > Pennsylvania > Quakers > William Penn >

william penn

MMMmmmm, gurl!!! We do NOT like the sound of this!!

Quaker hippie William Penn, best known for founding the Province of Pennsylvania, has been struck with some nasty brain problem that has rendered him incapable of talking or taking care of himself. Since then his wifey, Hannah, is said to be signing important Pennsylvania documents on the vegetable’s William Penn’s behalf.

Sooooooooo sketchy!!! If he can’t communicate what he wants, then it’s definitely illegal for her to sign things for him!!!!!

Do U think it’s okay that William Penn’s wifey is signing important documents without his permission??

William Penn Regains Control of Pennsylvania

Filed under: 1690s > 1694 > Pennsylvania > Quakers > William Penn >

king william iii giving william penn pennsylvania

Good! We like our little Pennsylvania hippie!!!

In 1691, new King William III took Pennsylvania away from founder William Penn because he was BFFs with the former king that he had overthrown, King James II. Convinced that William Penn was still loyal to the old king, he made Pennsylvania a royal colony and assigned military governor Captain Benjamin Fletcher to manage it. 

The pacifist Quakers of Pennsylvania were horrified that their tax money would go to the war efforts against France and obstructed every initiative Benjamin Fletcher tried to start. Fed up, King William III has restored power back to William Penn who has worked very hard to assure KWIII he’s not loyal to the old king. 

We COMPLETELY support the Quakers decision to boycott funding KWIII’s war with France. Especially after the witch trial madness, who wants more death and destruction???

Long live the hippies!!!!!

Quakers Protest Slavery in Pennsylvania!

Filed under: 1688 > Slavery > Pennsylvania > Quakers > 1680s >

black person

Good for them!!!!

In Germantown, Pennsylvania, a group of Quakers have signed a petition to protest slavery. As Quakers who were so wrongly persecuted overseas for their religion, they can’t understand how some of their fellow English settlers could be so quick to persecute others. 

For reals!! We do NOT understand how these new Americans can be such hypocrites.

Hopefully change is a’comin!!!!

William Penn Makes Friendship Treaty With Indians

william pen peace treaty

Awww. This is adorbs!

The founder of PhiladelphiaWilliam Penn, invited the Lenape Indians to a little meeting. Penn just wanted to let them know that he and his peeps had come in peace and were advocates of civil and religious tolerance. They then exchanged presents and now everyone is BFFs.

So inspiring!!!If only EVERYONE treated the Indians with the same respect we’d all be better off.

Do UR part and hug an Indian today!! 

William Penn Founds Philadelphia - “City of Brotherly Love”

Filed under: 1680s > 1682 > Pennsylvania > Quakers > William Penn >

william penn brotherly love

Interesting choice of words!

William Penn has arrived in America after a two month voyage in which one-third of his fellow Quakers died from smallpox. He has since founded Philadelphia, or the city of “brotherly” love. The name derives from Greek, “philos” means loving and “adelphos” means brother.

Be proud of who you are, bb!!

King Charles II Gives Land to William Penn Who Has Never Seen America

william penn

In order to settle a debt King Charles II owed Penn’s father, he gave Quaker William Penn a HUGE chunk of American land. We hear Will is sailing to America now to visit his new gift. 

What a moron!! We can’t believe he bought part of New Jersey before ever setting foot in America yet!! That’s like buying a pie shop but never having eaten a pie!!!!

What do U think William Penn will name his new land???

William Penn and Other Quakers Buy West New Jersey

william penn new jersey

Thank God it’s not East Jersey or we’d lose the beautiful Jersey shore!!

William Penn, along with other Quakers, bought land now known as New West Jersey. New East Jersey still belongs to George Carteret.

Quakerism is a new religious fad sweeping the New World. Also known as the “Religious Society of Friends,” the Quakers believe in a direct and personal relationship with God, the refusal to bear arms and the refusal to bow to any man. 

Our BIGGEST problem with the Quakers is their nickname “Religious Society of Friends.” Are they suggesting that Catholics, Jews and Protestants don’t have friends?????

PS: We SO approve of that faboosh red lip color on Williamina!!

King Charles II Fed Up With Colonists Killing Quakers

charles ii mad for killing quakers

It’s about time someone noticed!!

King Charles II in England is shocked that Massachusettshas been killing Quakers left and right. The King has officially forbid Massachusetts from executing any more Quakers and he’s ordering that all imprisoned Quakers be released. 

Aw, that was nice of him! This makes us actually MISS having the watchful eye of the monarchy close by!!

Well, maybe only a little bit. LOLz.

Martyr Mary Dyer Hanged in Boston

Mary Dyer Quaker hanged

Sooooooo lame!

To defy the anti-Quaker law in Massachusetts, Mary Dyer returned to Massachusetts where she was banned along with Anne Hutchinson 22 years earlier.  When she was caught for being a Quaker, and therefore breaking the law, she was given an ultimatum: repent and be banished again or don’t repent and be hanged. She chose the latter.

She is among three people hanged so far in Boston for being a Quaker. A fourth, William Leddra, is said to be next.

Mary’s body is buried in an unmarked grave.

Sad sad.

Two Banished Quakers Hang After Returning to Boston

quakers hanged

Boston’s like, “We warned you!!!”

Marmaduke (seriously — that’s his name????) Stephenson and Will Robinson went to Massachusetts to protest the ban on Quakers. Sadly they were thrown in jail and banished.

But then, out of sheer stoopidity, they returned to Massachusetts where they were AGAIN thrown in jail and eventually hanged. 

Let’s hope they didn’t die in vain and SOMEONE can learn from their mistakes.

Tsk, tsk.