Portrait Hall of SHAME!

image

OK, who let this little baby into the jester’s costume closet?!?!! If she didn’t dress herself, she must be the butt of a cruel, cruel joke because this outfit is outRAGEOUS.

The innocent victim above is depicted in an oil painting by German artist A. Fr. Ringen.

If anyone sees a pile of frumpy, Christmas-colored frocks crawling around, plz send it our way. We want to help the poor thing with a faboosh baby makeover!

Portrait Hall of SHAME

Filed under: 1759 > Portrait Hall of Fame > portrait >

image

Is it a woman??? A man???? Two DIFFERENT people?!?!

We’re convinced homeboy just knows how to work his makeup brush!!!

Both portratis above were done in the same year by two different artists. Adolf Moritz Sachsen-Zeits (right) is a Czech Bishop and A.M. Izmailova (left) is some Russian lady who is friends with an Empress.

OMG, what if these twinsies hooked up and had babies that looked just like them?????

That would be soo hilarious unfortunate!!!!

Portrait Hall of Shame!!!!!!

Ewwwwwwww, naked girls!!!! 

François Boucher, a pervert Frenchman fond of the Rococo style, has painted, “Diana leaving her Bath” (above).

People seem to really like this painting, but we don’t get it! Why is Diana bathing in the woods like a homeless person??? And why is that other girl watching????

YUCK!!! We just vomited in our mouths!!!

CLICK HERE to check out the uncensored and NSFW portrait!!!!
CLICK HERE to check out the uncensored and NSFW portrait!!!!
CLICK HERE to check out the uncensored and NSFW portrait!!!!
CLICK HERE to check out the uncensored and NSFW portrait!!!!

Portrait Hall of Fame!!

jesus can i get a what what

Jesus always makes the best of every situation!!

German born painter Ricardo do Pilar painted Jesus (above) in what he titled, “Man of Sorrows.” 

We don’t know who Ricardo is trying to fool - Jesus looks like he’s having an amazeballs time to us!!!

What do U think? Is Jesus crying or just pAArtying it up???

Portrait Hall of SHAME!!

big fat lady-man

Ohhhh no. OH HELL NO!

Just look at that hair!!!!!

Dutch painter Bartholomeus van der Helst painted Gerard Andriesz Bicker, the daughter son of the Mayor of Amsterdam. 

He is getting rather chubby, but we can’t blame him.

If we were rich, we’d have cake for breakfast every day too!!!!

Portrait Hall of…… WTF?!

painting of nasty creepy guy

Call the creeper police!! We found one on the loose!!!!!

Above is a self-portrait by the Dutch painter Bartholomeus van der Helst. We don’t know why anyone would EVER want to think of themselves as a whackjob who hits on little girls at pubs, but apparently Bart does.

We don’t even want to KNOW where his hand is!!!

Icky!

Portrait Hall of Fame

Filed under: 1651 > Portrait > Portrait Hall of Fame > LOL > 1650s >

David Bailly with laser eyes

Um, wut.  ????

This is a self-portrait of the Dutch artist David Bailly. Supposedly this is classic example of “vanitas” art, which uses weird objects likes skulls to represent the meaninglessness of life and vanity.

Wow Dave, this was a REALLY uplifting picture of you.

Excuse us while we go cut ourselves and contemplate our mortality.

Portrait Hall of Fame!!

We caught you, Sir Anthony van Dyck!!! LOLz.

Check out another FABOOSH self-portrait by Tony as he gently caresses a beautiful sunflower.

Ugh, we would give ANYTHING to be that sunflower!! BTW, we are loving the volume on his hair!! How does he do it???!

Keep the portraits coming, bb!! We just ADORE you!!!

Portrait Hall of…… WTF?!

hair family from munich

hair family from munich

hair family from munich

We hear these people actually existed, but we hope that’s not true!!!

These paintings were made of a hairy family from Munich. While the artist has not been verified, they were probably painted around the 1580s.

Germany, we don’t know what you’re putting in your water — but this much hair is just not okay!! Gurlfriend will never find a husband!

Well, unless he’s a dog. LOL!

Venus Ain’t So Cute From Behind!!

Good thing that mirror isn’t floor length or she’d have a heart attack!!! Just look at that BIG nasty butt!!

Peter Paul Rubens painted this oil painting, “Venus at a Mirror”, which he is presenting as the “ultimate symbol of beauty”.

We’re not sure if he’s JKing, but if this is beauty we WANT to be ugly!! And what’s with the floating head lady in the corner?! SpOoOoky.

Do U think PPR’s depiction of Venus is a symbol of beauty?