King Charles II Gives Land to William Penn Who Has Never Seen America

william penn

In order to settle a debt King Charles II owed Penn’s father, he gave Quaker William Penn a HUGE chunk of American land. We hear Will is sailing to America now to visit his new gift. 

What a moron!! We can’t believe he bought part of New Jersey before ever setting foot in America yet!! That’s like buying a pie shop but never having eaten a pie!!!!

What do U think William Penn will name his new land???

William Penn Founds Philadelphia - “City of Brotherly Love”

Filed under: 1680s > 1682 > Pennsylvania > Quakers > William Penn >

william penn brotherly love

Interesting choice of words!

William Penn has arrived in America after a two month voyage in which one-third of his fellow Quakers died from smallpox. He has since founded Philadelphia, or the city of “brotherly” love. The name derives from Greek, “philos” means loving and “adelphos” means brother.

Be proud of who you are, bb!!

William Penn Makes Friendship Treaty With Indians

william pen peace treaty

Awww. This is adorbs!

The founder of PhiladelphiaWilliam Penn, invited the Lenape Indians to a little meeting. Penn just wanted to let them know that he and his peeps had come in peace and were advocates of civil and religious tolerance. They then exchanged presents and now everyone is BFFs.

So inspiring!!!If only EVERYONE treated the Indians with the same respect we’d all be better off.

Do UR part and hug an Indian today!! 

First Mennonites Arrive in America From Germany

german yodelayheehoo

OMG, they’re like termites made out of men!! Weird!!!!

A group of German Mennonites, a Protestant sect who are being persecuted in Europe, have arrived in America to seek religious freedom. William Penn is selling them thousands of acres six miles to the north of Philadelphia. They are calling their new land “Germantown.”

Wunderbar!!! We’d just LOVE to get our schnitzel on!

Quakers Protest Slavery in Pennsylvania!

Filed under: 1688 > Slavery > Pennsylvania > Quakers > 1680s >

black person

Good for them!!!!

In Germantown, Pennsylvania, a group of Quakers have signed a petition to protest slavery. As Quakers who were so wrongly persecuted overseas for their religion, they can’t understand how some of their fellow English settlers could be so quick to persecute others. 

For reals!! We do NOT understand how these new Americans can be such hypocrites.

Hopefully change is a’comin!!!!

YAY! William Penn Saves Trees!!!!!

Filed under: 1690 > 1690s > Pennsylvania > William Penn >

william penn

Our hero!

William Penn, founder of Pennsylvania, has mandated that for every five acres of trees cleared, one acre must be preserved.

Trees are pretty, give animals their homes, provide us with shade plus soooo many other good things!

We just want to give WP a big hug!!

William Penn Regains Control of Pennsylvania

Filed under: 1690s > 1694 > Pennsylvania > Quakers > William Penn >

king william iii giving william penn pennsylvania

Good! We like our little Pennsylvania hippie!!!

In 1691, new King William III took Pennsylvania away from founder William Penn because he was BFFs with the former king that he had overthrown, King James II. Convinced that William Penn was still loyal to the old king, he made Pennsylvania a royal colony and assigned military governor Captain Benjamin Fletcher to manage it. 

The pacifist Quakers of Pennsylvania were horrified that their tax money would go to the war efforts against France and obstructed every initiative Benjamin Fletcher tried to start. Fed up, King William III has restored power back to William Penn who has worked very hard to assure KWIII he’s not loyal to the old king. 

We COMPLETELY support the Quakers decision to boycott funding KWIII’s war with France. Especially after the witch trial madness, who wants more death and destruction???

Long live the hippies!!!!!

NY Governor Fired For Accepting Pirates’ Bribes

Filed under: 1695 > New York > Pennsylvania > Pirates > 1690s >

pirate yo ho yo ho

Arrrrrr you serious?!? LOLz.

King William III has replaced corrupt New York governor Benjamin Fletcher, who was until recently also the governor of Pennsylvania. It was discovered that Fletcher was accepting bribes of $100 to allow illegal trading of pirate treasure. He has been replaced by Richard Coote, 1st Earl of Bellomont.

Well, if there’s one group of people you want on your side - it’s the pirates!!!

Just sayin’!

Smallpox Epidemic Breaks Out in Philly

Filed under: 1699 > Pennsylvania > 1690s >

smallpox 1699


A large outbreak of the deadly smallpox disease has spread throughout Philadelphia. We hear new colonists coming over from Europe are guilty of bringing the disease to America. Smallpox is HIGHLY contagious, so doctors recommend staying away from the infected at all costs.

Ewww, that disease makes people SO ugly looking! We are NOT going outside until that the disease has left America!!!

William Penn’s Wife is Committing SHADY Crimes

Filed under: 1710s > 1712 > Pennsylvania > Quakers > William Penn >

william penn

MMMmmmm, gurl!!! We do NOT like the sound of this!!

Quaker hippie William Penn, best known for founding the Province of Pennsylvania, has been struck with some nasty brain problem that has rendered him incapable of talking or taking care of himself. Since then his wifey, Hannah, is said to be signing important Pennsylvania documents on the vegetable’s William Penn’s behalf.

Sooooooooo sketchy!!! If he can’t communicate what he wants, then it’s definitely illegal for her to sign things for him!!!!!

Do U think it’s okay that William Penn’s wifey is signing important documents without his permission??