It’s about time someone noticed!!
King Charles II in England is shocked that Massachusettshas been killing Quakers left and right. The King has officially forbid Massachusetts from executing any more Quakers and he’s ordering that all imprisoned Quakers be released.
Aw, that was nice of him! This makes us actually MISS having the watchful eye of the monarchy close by!!
Well, maybe only a little bit. LOLz.
Sooooooo lame!
To defy the anti-Quaker law in Massachusetts, Mary Dyer returned to Massachusetts where she was banned along with Anne Hutchinson 22 years earlier. When she was caught for being a Quaker, and therefore breaking the law, she was given an ultimatum: repent and be banished again or don’t repent and be hanged. She chose the latter.
She is among four people hanged in Boston for being a Quaker. Her body is buried in an unmarked grave.
Sad sad.
Boston’s like, “We warned you!!!”
Marmaduke (seriously — that’s his name????) Stephenson and Will Robinson went to Massachusetts to protest the ban on Quakers. Sadly they were thrown in jail and banished.
But then, out of sheer stoopidity, they returned to Massachusetts where they were AGAIN thrown in jail and eventually hanged.
Let’s hope they didn’t die in vain and SOMEONE can learn from their mistakes.
Tsk, tsk.
SHOCKER!
Quaker missionaries, Mary Fisher and Ann Austin, arrived in Boston shortly after being spotted in Barbados. They had plans to spread the seed of their religion, but Puritan authorities have burned their books, stripped them, publicly whipped them and thrown them in jail.
They have been so badly starved in jail that a man and Puritan traitor by the name of Nicholas Upsall has bribed the guards into giving the prisoners food. They will be sent back to Barbados in the coming weeks.
Good!!!! We have enough religions in this country.
Get out and stay out, weirdos!
They just keeping popping up out of nowhere!!!
Ann Hibbins, a wealthy widow from Boston, has been hanged for witchcraft. Suspicions started when she sued some carpenters who worked on her home because she thought they overcharged her. While she won the case, her behavior was viewed as abrasive.
Well, that’s all the evidence we need! You just can’t take ANY chances.
We guess we’ll go to church for the fifth time today and pray the witches away…
Oooooh, scandalous!!!!!
A Boston man, Captain Kemble, returned home after three years at sea and kissed his wife in public on the Sabbath. This is a BIG no-no, so he was sentenced to sit in the stocks for two hours for his “lewd and unseemly behavior”.
God is ALWAYS watching… and so are your narc neighbors.
LOL.
Two Quaker missionaries were spotted boarding the ship “Swallow” in Barbados last week, which is now heading towards Boston harbor. While their identities are unknown, our sources tell us they are women who have fled England due to religious persecution.
Uh-oh. We have a feeling that having Quakers in Boston will NOT go over well.
Say your prayers, ladies!
Despicable, awful and really, really shameful.
The general court is imposing a toll on all animals crossing a bridge in Rowley, Massachusetts.
But animals don’t even make any money!!! How are they going to pay??? Just imagine if our baby, Theodore Hamilton, needed to get across that bridge!
Poor things.
Lucky Bostonians! We just LOVE the smell of books!!!!
Massachusetts has opened its first public library to educate the people about intolerance, death and slavery.
We hope they lock the section on magic so the witches don’t get to it!
Ha!
We can’t believe Massachusetts actually used their brains for once.
Remember when England got mad at the Dutch?? Well now England has declared war on them. In response, the New England Confederation has supported England by declaring war on the Dutch colonists of America, but Massachusetts doesn’t think it’s a good idea.
Well it isn’t!!!! Ugh, if only more people saw the world through our eyes. Everything would be SO much better. And prettier.
We hope the Dutch can run in their wooden shoes because they better get the hell outta there!!
