Seven Years’ War Ends with the Treaty of Paris

Good thing we’ve been on the Starvation Diet this week, because we are gonna stuff our faces with crumpets to celebrate!!

In the Treaty of Paris, France had to let go of all its territory on the North American mainland. The British received the land east of the Mississippi, while Spain received everything to the west. France had already secretly given Louisiana to Spain in the Treaty of Fontainebleau.

Au revoir, bitches!! It was nice knowing ya and your fatty macaroons!!!!

Whose peace party are U going to attend???

INTERCEPTED!!! Louisiana Goes Slutty in Top Secret Treaty of Fontainebleau


Ummmmm, guys. This is bigger than Martha Washington’s hairdo!!!!!!

The Brits kicked France’s booty in The Battle of Signal Hill in 1762, which basically confirmed the Brits as the official controllers of Canada. In the secret treaty that followed this battle, “Treaty of Fontainebleau,” France gives (GASP!) Louisiana to Spain.

France is keeping this land exchange hidden from the Brits because they are sneaky little snakes.

Secrets, secrets are no fun… but they sure make for good gossip!!!!!!!!


Gov. of Louisiana Arrives Late to War - Allies Get Crushed

Filed under: 1736 > Bienville > Illinois > Indians > Louisiana > War > 1730s >

bienville louisiana
Omfg. Seriously?!?

Of all days to sleep in, he picks the day he’s going to attack the Indians?????

Louisiana Governor, Jean-Baptiste Bla Bla Longest Name Ever Le Moyne de Bienville, told the Governor of Illinois and all of his troops to meet up on March 25th to launch a coordinated attack against the forever-annoying Chickasaw IndiansBienville arrived late, so Illinois acted like 5 year olds with no patience and went ahead with the attack. Illinois was totally crushed.

Rooster alarm clock FAIL.

"Code Noir" is Enforced in Louisiana

Filed under: 1720s > 1724 > Jews > Louisiana > Slavery > Bienville >

Sieur de Bienville

The “Black Code”? More like the “Go Eff Yourself Code”!!!!!

The Black Code of Louisiana has been put into place by dickhead territorial governor, Sieur de Bienville. The code consists of 54 articles that details a slave owner’s rights to control his slave’s religion, marriage, clothing, burial, punishment and much, MUCH more. It also orders Jews to be expelled from Louisiana.

Basically, all slaves and Jews are totally screwed. We only have two words for you, Sieur de Bienvielle:


France Founds the City of “New Orleans”

Filed under: 1710s > 1718 > Indians > Louisiana > Bienville >

new orleans

More like New BOREleans. HA.

New Orleans, named by Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville after the Duke of the French city of Orléans, has been founded. Bienville founded the location for France because it was super easy access to the Mississippi River through Lake Pontchartrain and Bayou St. John.

Oh, that’s just perfect. Now the French have even a quicker route to kill Indians and piss off other American settlers!!!!