NY Governor Kicked Out and Executed

Filed under: 1691 > King James II > New York > 1690s >


And that’s why you don’t eff with the King of England!! LOL.

During all the drama between the Boston revolt, New England and New France going to war and King James II being overthrown, German-American Jacob Leisler seized control of New York and ruled it against the wishes of the new King William III. In response, KWIII sent a new governor to NY, but he didn’t get there for a couple years because he was lazy delayed by bad weather.

After an awkward stand-off resulting in words along the lines of, “You’re not governor, I am!” and, “No, bitch, NY is mine!” Jacob Leisler was finally arrested by the REAL governor and sentenced to death.

This is riDICKulous. You can’t just steal New York and expect to get away with it!!!!

If it was THAT easy, don’t you think we’d have stolen it loooong ago?? Where else can you get the best food and fashion in America??!

Bostonians Revolt!!! Dominion of New England FAIL!

Filed under: 1689 > Massachusetts > King James II > 1680s >

revolting americans nuts

America can’t be tamed!!!

As you probably guessed, Americans were not happy whenKing James II grouped the colonies together as theDominion of New England" and appointed Sir Edmund Andros governor of the whole dominion. As soon as everyone caught wind that King James II was overthrown, Boston began organizing a revolt. The mob attacked on April 18th and arrested Edmund Angross along with other dominion leaders. 

UPDATE: We’re hearing reports that Edmund Angross attempted to escape disguised in WOMEN’S clothing. The attempt was unsuccessful. We SO wish we saw Edmund in a dress running around prison!! LOLz!

King James II Overthrown By Daughter and Son-in-Law

Filed under: 1688 > King James II > Protestants > 1680s >

queen mary

Well that was rude!!!

King James II’s protestant son-in-law, Wiliam III, invaded England and kicked the King to the curb. He and his wife Mary, AKA the King’s daughter, are going to be the King and Queen.

Baby swapping, throne over-throwings and family backstabbing?!? 

Things haven’t been this interesting in years!

BREAKING: King James II Has First Son (Or Did He???)

Filed under: 1688 > King James II > Catholics > Protestants > 1680s >

king james ii

We smell a conspiracy!!!

Even though everyone in England was disappointed that King James II became a Catholic, no one was too concerned because his only heirs to the throne were his Protestant daughters. However, everyone almost shizzed themselves recently when the King had his first son whom he baptized Catholic. The prospect of a Catholic dynasty in England, Ireland and Scotland is now a startling reality.

But listen to this!!! We’re hearing some CRAZY rumors that the King’s son was actually stillborn and swapped with someone else’s baby!! We hear the King is soooo desperate to secure a Catholic succession to the throne, that this isn’t a very far-fetched idea.

Stay tuned for more deets!!!!

Sir Edmund Andros Named Governor of New England

edmund andros

Where’d this guy come from?!?!

The new King of England, James II, decided it was a good idea to lump all the colonies together to create the “Dominion of New England.” The dominion will be governed by Edmund along with a council made up of representatives from each of the colonies the dominion absorbed. 

We don’t know how to feel about his governing skills yet, but we have to admit his outfit is just KILLER! Armor and lace?? Who knew pairing something so manly with something so delicate could be such a hit.

Props, bb!

RIP: King Charles II

King Charles ii dies

We are so saddened by the news we can hardly pull it together to write this.

We’ve just learned that King Charles II, age 54, has passed after suffering a sudden stroke a few days earlier. On his deathbed he converted from his Anglican religion to Roman Catholic. He leaves behind 12 illegitimate children and a wife. His brother, James II, is said to replace him on the throne.

We really liked him because of his religious tolerance, his passion for helping the poor, his belief in giving a decent amount of freedom to the colonies and his don’t-eff-with-me attitude towards the mASSholes in mASSachusetts

Sad sad.