Mmm, MmmMm, MmmMmmm… nothing keeps us warm at night like some good ‘ol fashioned learning!

After getting super jeal that New Jersey founded its own college (Princeton University), New York decided they wanted one, too. King’s College is now the first institution of higher learning in all of New York.

Loves it!

Lurning is in da haus!!!!!! Lolololol.

Benjamin Franklin was searching for a site where he could open a public academy for higher learning in the Philly area. He discovered that a charity school in the area lacked funding and was vacated, so it was the best option for BJ’s new project.

Unlike other schools around (Harvard, William and Mary, and Yale), BJ Franky Franks wants this institution to offer more than just religious education. He’s proposing the curriculum also include practical skills and arts.

As much as we think this is a great idea, these good deeds don’t disguise the fact that he has an illegitimate child.

If doing nice things washed away sins, we’d be the friggin’ Pope!

Lordy, Lordy!!! Dirty Jersey actually WANTS to learn??? 

New Light Presbyterians have founded the institution in order to train ministers. Right now the place of higher learning is in Elizabeth, New Jersey, but we hear it will be moving to Princeton in the next decade.

We don’t know why any holy person would want to live in such a filth hole. This is probably the Devil’s doing!!!

You couldn’t pay us enough to go!!

So FUNgasmic!! We’re already really smart, but can we go too?!?!

Now men in the New World have a place to go in Massachusetts if they want to formally learn. John Harvard donated his whole entire book collection and half of his fortune to the new college so the founders named it after him. 

We could donate our favorite feather quill if they want to name it after us instead. Hamilton College sounds sooooo much better!

Just a thought!