She probably eats bugs now or whatever those hippies eat!
Mary Jemison was captured by the Shawnee Indians and sold to the Senecas. Her family wasn’t so “lucky,” because they were killed and scalped pretty soon after their capture. Mary was adopted into the Indian tribe and given the new name, DehgEwANUS.
Dehg-ew-anus?????? Leave it to the Indians to mess up a name!
Word on the street is EwAnus is adapting nicely into her new fam and will soon marry.
Uh-huh. Good luck with that, bb!
For once, we wish the Indians would just surprise us and actually DO what they’re told!!
After days of fighting, the British finally surrendered Fort William Henry to the Frenchies. The terms of the surrender included that the Brits also peacefully withdraw from another one of their forts, Fort Edward, while the French military protected them.
SO, guess what happens next???
The French-Indians said, bitch plz! They went against the agreement, killing and scalping a TON of defenseless Brits who were evacuating Fort Edward.
And we thought WE had anger issues.
Can anyone recommend a good therapist for the entire Indian population???
After getting their asses handed to them earlier this year, the Brits finally got to say, “Told ya so!” when they defeated the French in battle.
Ugh, LOVE that feeling!
Pissed that the Frenchies have been taking over America, the Brits sought to destroy one of their key forts, Fort St. Frédéric. At first, the Frenchies were winning, but when their Indian allies refused to attack their fellow Indians inside the British troop, things got a little cray-cray.
Basically, the Brits ended up winning the battle even though they didn’t take over Fort St. Frédéric.
Moral of the story, the Indians screwed over everyone else again. We know, we know… you’re SO shocked!!!
After his dumbass Indian friends killed a bunch of innocent Frenchies, Washie built Fort Necessity nearby in anticipation of French retaliation. Even though his Indian allies were responsible for starting the whole mess, they ditched Washington before the French returned for vengeance.
Real cute, Indians. REAL cute.
As predicted, the French DID come back for blood and pretty much destroyed Washington’s troop. The French commander let Washie surrender if he signed a French document admitting to having killed the previous French commander, Jumonville. Hottie Washie signed it, but it was a trick. It REALLY said that Washington confessed to murdering Jumonville even though he had come in peace on a diplomatic mission.
We love you, Washie, but get it together!! STOP signing documents you can’t translate!!!
Get ready for a shockfest!!
George Hottie Washie and his men surrounded a small French camp and a battle ensued. Within 15 minutes, the French called for a cease fire.
The wounded French commander tried to explain his mission to Hottie Washie but, midway through, Hottie Washie’s ally (an Indian leader known as the “Half-King”) went up to the French commander, Jumonville, and put a hatchet through his skull just because he could.
RUDE!! These Indians have NO social graces.
Before Washie could stop the insanity, his Indian allies killed the remaining French soldiers and scalped them.
We bet the Frenchies back home are gonna llloooovvvee this news!!!!!
We just hope he doesn’t get any scars on that pretty little face!
After the French refused to leave the Ohio area, the Brits started plotting against them. George Washington was ordered to pick a spot to build a fort near the French and a guy named William Trent was ordered to start raising a small force. Construction on the fort began ASAP, but the French caught wind of it, swooped in, and made the Brits leave mid-construction.
And because our Hottie Washie works so hard, he was just promoted to lieutenant colonel of the Virginia militia. He is now leading about 200 Virginians and Indian allies to fight the French.
YAY! Congrats on the promotion, Washie!!! Stay safe!
70 miles to be exact!!!
William Penn’s heirs found an old deed from the Lenape indians that promised land starting from the Delaware River to “as far west as a man could walk in a day and a half.”
The sneaky devils then got the three fastest runners and had them “walk” for a day and a half so the Penn family could get as much land as possible. One guy covered 70 miles, resulting in 1,200,000 acres!!!!
Dayum!!! The Lenape must be soooooooo mad.
The’re probably casting crazy indian spells on that speed walker right now!
Of all days to sleep in, he picks the day he’s going to attack the Indians?????
Louisiana Governor, Jean-Baptiste
Bla Bla Longest Name Ever Le Moyne de Bienville, told the Governor of Illinois and all of his troops to meet up on March 25th to launch a coordinated attack against the forever-annoying Chickasaw Indians. Bienville arrived late, so Illinois acted like 5 year olds with no patience and went ahead with the attack. Illinois was totally crushed.
Rooster alarm clock FAIL.
We can smell this drama queen all the way from England!!
English colonist Captain John Smith was captured by local Indians and sentenced to death by the Indian chief, Powhatan. The chief’s daughter, PocaHOntas, thought daddy was being unfair and laid her life on the line to prove it.
The scene was described as:
“Two great stones were brought before Powhatan: then as many as could layd hands on him [Smith], dragged him to them, and thereon laid his head, and being ready with their clubs, to beate out his braines, PocaHOntas the Kings dearest daughter, when no intreaty could prevaile, got his head in her armes, and laid her owne upon his to save him from death …”
Is she that desperate to get daddy’s attention that she would risk her life????
C’mon, bb! Have more respect for yourself!!