Washington Signs Incriminating French Document He Can’t Read

george washington

Silly Washie!

After his dumbass Indian friends killed a bunch of innocent FrenchiesWashie built Fort Necessity nearby in anticipation of French retaliation. Even though his Indian allies were responsible for starting the whole mess, they ditched Washington before the French returned for vengeance.

Real cute, Indians. REAL cute.

As predicted, the French DID come back for blood and pretty much destroyed Washington's troop. The French commander let Washie surrender if he signed a French document admitting to having killed the previous French commander, Jumonville. Hottie Washie signed it, but it was a trick. It REALLY said that Washington confessed to murdering Jumonville even though he had come in peace on a diplomatic mission.

We love you, Washie, but get it together!! STOP signing documents you can’t translate!!!

Sigh.