Is it a woman??? A man???? Two DIFFERENT people?!?!

We’re convinced homeboy just knows how to work his makeup brush!!!

Both portratis above were done in the same year by two different artists. Adolf Moritz Sachsen-Zeits (right) is a Czech Bishop and A.M. Izmailova (left) is some Russian lady who is friends with an Empress.

OMG, what if these twinsies hooked up and had babies that looked just like them?????

That would be soo hilarious unfortunate!!!!

Try saying that 10x fast!!!! 

This pivotal battle, AKA “The Battle of Quebec,” was fought on farmer Abraham Martin’s property just outside Quebec city. 

Poor Abe!! He probably went outside to feed the cows and found a freaking war on his lawn. LOL!

The siege took place over three months, but the actual battle only lasted a measly 15 minutes. Both the British leader, James Wolfe, and the French leader, Louis-Joseph de Montcalm, were mortally wounded in the attack.

THANK GAWD!! Brits rule, Frenchies DROOL!!!!!

“Men… must have corrupted nature a little, for they were not born wolves, and they have become wolves. Plus, they can’t dance, they have terrible fashion sense AND they can’t keep it in their pants!”

- Voltaire in his novella, Candide

You might as well bury us because we DIED from this news today.

George Washington married his stoopid girlfriend, Martha, 27. MILF Martha already has four children from a previous marriage, who was an old rich guy that died a couple years ago.

Four kids???????

Her vajayjay must be HUGE. 

At the wedding, Washie wore a blue and silver cloth suit with red trimming and gold knee buckles while MILF Martha wore purple silk shoes with spangled buckles.

Ew. Purple on your wedding day is so tacky!!!

Do U think MILF Martha is good enough for Hawtie Washie?