Keep your friends close and your enemies closer… unless they’re Indians, because then you should just run. LOLz.
Scared that the French were greedily expanding on central American territory, the Spanish sent out the Villasur expedition of over 100 soldiers and scouts. Along the way the expedition came across Pawnee and Otoe territory, who they tried to negotiate with using their Pawnee slave as a translator. One night the Pawnee slave disappeared and on the following morning the Spaniards were almost all hacked to death by the Indians.
It shouldn’t take a friggin’ genius to figure out that you shouldn’t use your slave to negotiate with his OWN people.
Lock your doors, bitches!!!!! Smallpox is on the loose!!
To “cure” people, Dr. Zabdiel Boylston, has purposefully infected his healthy patients with a small trace of smallpox pus by rubbing it into an open wound. He believes that if the body were able to live through the disease once, the patient would become immune.
At first, angry mobs tried to hang him for spreading the infection. Then, after the death rate drastically reduced in his patients, people decided he wasn’t so nuts.
We’d rather DIE than have a looney doctor rub nasty PUS into our wounds!!
This is AMAZEBALLS!!
In order to get
her his work published by his brother’s print shop in Boston, 16-year-old Benjamin Franklin has been posing as a middle-aged widow with the pseudonym of Silence Dogood. In a series of 14 articles submitted under a woman’s identity, Benny Frank-Franks has commented on topics such as religion, drunkenness, freedom of thought and even fashion.
Sadly, once Benny’s brother found out the true identity of “Silence Dogood,” he was less than impressed. Needless to say, Benny WON’T be writing for his brother’s print shop any time in the near future.
Benny, if you’re looking for a writing gig, we could totes use another writer!!!
WOW, this is embarrassing…
Artist Jean Ranc painted both Portrait de Charles III (left) and Portrait of Philip V of Spain (right) around the same time.
We wonder if King Philip knows he has the same wardrobe as a little boy!!
Sounds like someone needs to fire their stylist!!!!
The “Black Code”? More like the “Go Eff Yourself Code”!!!!!
The Black Code of Louisiana has been put into place by
dickhead territorial governor, Sieur de Bienville. The code consists of 54 articles that details a slave owner’s rights to control his slave’s religion, marriage, clothing, burial, punishment and much, MUCH more. It also orders Jews to be expelled from Louisiana.
Basically, all slaves and Jews are totally screwed. We only have two words for you, Sieur de Bienvielle:
Everyone’s gotta die sometime!
The ridiculed and disliked King of Great Britain has died after suffering a stroke. The old geezer was thought to be “too German” in his ways and pretty unintelligent in general. Most people even claim he couldn’t speak or understand English since he was raised in Germany. His son, George II, will be succeeding his father’s place on the throne.
Holy cow! How can you NOT speak the language of the country you’re ruling?!?
Hopefully George II doesn’t suck as bad as his old man.
As usual, someone pissed off the Indians and they responded with murder.
This time, the French colonial commandment, Sieur de Chépart, demanded the Natchez Indians give him some land. Though they lived peacefully side by side for years, the Indians revolted — even using guns they borrowed from the French to do it. Some 240 people died and the fighting destroyed farms and property. Thankfully, the Indians did spare most women, children and slaves.
What is it good for?!?!