
Nooooo!! How could this be?? Life is so unfair.
Our beloved Sir Anthony van Dyck has passed away at his home in London after falling gravely ill. King Charles I has erected a monument in his memory.
The monument HIGHlights state:
“Anthony returned to England, and shortly afterwards he died in London, piously rendering his spirit to God as a good Catholic. He was buried in St. Paul’s, to the sadness of the king and court and the universal grief of lovers of painting. For all the riches he had acquired, Anthony van Dyck left little property, having spent everything on living magnificently, more like a prince than a painter.”
He lived like a queen and he died like a queen.
Our thoughts go out to Tony’s friends and family during this extremely difficult time. He will be missed.

Truly sickening.
Massachusetts is now the first colony to have passed a law making it legal to own slaves.
They are justifying it based on Biblical authority:
“Which the law of God, established in Israel concerning such people, doth morally require.”
Didn’t they JUST kick Anne Hutchinson out of Massachusetts because she wasn’t religious enough?? And now they think God wants them to OWN other humans??
Yuck!

“I thank God, we have not free schools nor printing. For learning has brought disobedience, and heresy and sects into the world; and printing has divulged them and libels against the government. God keep us from both!”
- Sir William Berkeley, the new governor of Virginia

Kids these days!!
Thomas Granger, a teenager no more than 17 years old, has been sentenced to death by hanging for an unspeakable crime. He pleaded guilty to “buggery with a mare, a cowe, two goats, divers sheepe, two calves, and a turkey”.
He’s the first juvenile to be sentenced to death in the New World.
Ewwwwww. That is just nasty!!!

Left: Rembrandt van Rijn’s ”Self-Portrait” (1640)
Right: Rembrandt van Rijn’s “Herman Doomer” (1640)

OMFG.
The Indians rampaged the New Netherland colony where Anne recently moved and scalped her family. The only one spared was Anne’s nine-year-old daughter who was taken captive because the Indians are stoopid enough to have believed that her red hair was a sign or something.
Not surprisingly, the news of her murder was pretty much a relief to Boston.
Reverend Mr. Weld wrote:
“The Lord heard our groans to heaven, and freed us from our great and sore affliction… God’s hand is the more apparently seen herein, to pick out this woeful woman…”
We hope no one from Boston will be speaking at her funeral!!
Violence is NEVER the answer.

And the bat-shit crayzay award of the week goes to… R-Wills! Only HE would write a nice educational book about the Indians.
R-Wills, founder of Rhode Island, has wrote a book called A Key Into the Language of America. In it he describes Indian languages of New England.
SNORE. Oops, sorry, that book sounded so boring we fell asleep!!
We can’t believe how obsessed with the Indians he is. They’ve probably scalped his relatives in some part of New England!

O no, Indians, religious freedom and now tornados?? What’s next — witches?!?!
New England has been hit by its first ever tornado! Thank GOD no one was hurt, but it did kill one unlucky Indian who was smushed dead by a tree that fell over.
John Winthrop, governor of Massachusetts, described the event:
“There arose a sudden gust so violent for one-half hour as it blew down multitudes of trees. It lifted up their meeting house at Newbury, the people being in it. It darkened the air with dust, yet through God’s great mercy it did no hurt, but only killed one Indian with the fall of a tree.”
Even Mother Nature hates the Indians!!
Whatevs!

Oh. Em. Geeeee!!!!
It’s Theo’s birthday so we are throwing him the BEST pAArty EVER and giving him the biggest dog bone in the world!! We don’t care if we have to dig up graves to find it!
We love our baby boy sooooo much!
Soooo adorable!!!!!!

SpOoOoky!!
16 days after a ship blew up in the Boston harbor, three men were on a boat at the witching hour of midnight. Directly at the spot where the ship blew up, two lights flew out of the water and formed the appearance of a man. It floated towards shore where it disappeared!!!
Hmmmmmm, could it be the ghost of a man who died on the ship???
Where are the Puritans with their religious shiz when you need them?? Sprinkle some Holy water on that harbor ASAP!!