Nooooooooo!!!!! Hawtie Washie Marries Martha Dandridge Custis!!!!

You might as well bury us because we DIED from this news today.

George Washington married his stoopid girlfriend, Martha, 27. MILF Martha already has four children from a previous marriage, who was an old rich guy that died a couple years ago.

Four kids???????

Her vajayjay must be HUGE. 

At the wedding, Washie wore a blue and silver cloth suit with red trimming and gold knee buckles while MILF Martha wore purple silk shoes with spangled buckles.

Ew. Purple on your wedding day is so tacky!!!

Do U think MILF Martha is good enough for Hawtie Washie?

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  10. therealjeffkoons reblogged this from perezhamilton and added:
    holy crap.
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    omg HAHAHAH. best. blog. ever.
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  25. refreshinglyclassic said: These CRACK ME UP!!!