New Amsterdam Stolen By British and Renamed New York City
Peter Stuyvesant’s luck has finally run out!!!
The Hawk Faced Director-General of New Amsterdam was surprised to see four British Navy ships sail into port and demand that he surrender. Since the Dutch settlement didn’t want to brutally lose to the Brits, the pansy hobbled out of New Amsterdam on his wooden leg and gave the reigns to King Charles II’s brother, AKA the Duke of York. In his honor, they renamed the land New York Shitty City.
Those greedy little Brits just can’t get enough! Next thing you know, they’ll rename it from “America” to “England is The Best EVER, Bitches!!”
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OH MY GOD THIS IS A THING? PEREZ HAMILTON IS A THING?
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