Oh. Em. Gee.
WHO CARES??? Is this seriously the biggest deal of the year?!?!? Someone have an affair already!!!
British Parliament has imposed a tax on stamped paper and other printed materials in America to help pay back the debt caused by the costs of British military presence during the Seven Years’ War.
Two tax acts within two years???
Someone get the British P-funks a tampon already. This is the longest case of PMS we’ve ever seen!!
Even those naked babies don’t understand why daddy is wearing a little boys’ outfit!!
In another creepy edition of “Who Wore it Best,” a grown-ass man is dressed up like a little kid. They’re even posing the same!!
Artist Charles Joseph Natoire painted “Portrait of Louis Dauphin of France with a Plan of the Siege of Tournai” (left) in 1747, while William Hogarth painted “William Augustus, Duke of Cumberland” (right) in 1732.
So many guys just REFUSE to grow up these days.
Man up, boys! You can’t stay young forever!!!!
This may finally give us a reason to lose the love handles!!
The Molasses Act (1733) made the colonies pay a tax on the importation of foreign molasses, but a lot of sneaky peeps were able to avoid paying the tax completely. With the expiration of the Molasses Act coming to a close, Parliament decided that they needed to revise it.
The Sugar Act (1764) made the tax on molasses cheaper and more enforceable. It also made other foreign goods taxable, including sugar, some wines and coffee.
Tax on sugar, wine AND coffee??? We will just DIE.
Samuel Drunky Adams and James Otis, Jr. can’t stand the new act and say it’s effed up that the Brits can tax us but won’t give us legal representation.
And WE agree!
No taxation without representation, bitches!!
OOOOoooohhhh, gurl, we hope you
do not have scandal written all over these!!!
Mrs. Abigail Adams, wife and cousin of Pervy John Adams, has been writing up a storm and we’ve managed to get our hands on some letters!! And guess which ones are the juiciest?? The letters to Pervy Adams pre-marriage, of course!!
On April 19, 1764 the mixed-signals vixen wrote to him:
"… I think thee, friend; such knowledge as that is easy to be obtained without paying for it.”
Abby ‘The Animal’ Adams totes put him in the friendzone!!!! We love it! And a day later things get REALLY hawt…
“Why may not I visit you days as well as nights? I no sooner close my eyes, than some invisible being, swift as Alborack of Mahomet, bears me to you, — I see you, but cannot make myself visible to you. That tortures me… “
We don’t know what this Alborack of Mahomet is, but it sure sounds seXXXy.
Get it, gurl!!!
OK, so it’s his third cousin, but we still barfed a little!
Lawyer John Adams, almost 29, has wed his third cousin, 19-year-old-ish Abigail Smith. Supposedly, Pervy John Adams was really turned on by
his family member a quiet, young girl who is knowledgeable about philosophy, politics and poetry.
OOooh, the three P’s!
Apparently that’s all it takes to throw all morality outside the carriage window!!
Oh, but he DID!!!
BJ Franky Franks went on the record via newspaper to tell the world how much he disapproves of the Indian-killing Paxton Boys.
Our hero!! We just got sooOooOo turned on. LOL!
And, after learning the government has actually been protecting the surviving peaceful Indians, the PB decided to march into town to give everyone a piece of their brainless minds.
But don’t worry! Our sources claim that BJ Franky Franks met them outside of town and negotiated peacefully with them. Then, the PB turned around and went home.
Don’t you EVA come back!!!!
YUCK!!!! This is the most disgusting thing we’ve heard all year!!
After the French and Indian War, a big wave Scots-Irish immigrants moved onto Indian land. They are claiming that the Indians raid their homes, steal their stuff and even kill innocent people. For revenge, Reverend John Elder gathered a militia and viciously attacked a tribe of the Susquehannock, who are primarily Christian and have lived happily near their European neighbors for many decades.
Wait. A REVEREND organized to murder a bunch of fellow Christians for revenge???
We aren’t religious scholars or anything, but we think he’s reading from the wrong Bible!!
We can hear the fist pumping celebration all across Jersey!!
BJ Franky Frank’s used his power to trick people into believing that his son, William Franklin, is more than a
prostitute’s mistake useful aid in his science experiments. After completing a law education and proving himself to be a competent human being, William has secured a place as Royal Governor of NJ.
OoOoh, ooh! Can we suggest the first order of business?? Open up a dance club on the Jersey Shore!!!
All that bumpin’ and grindin’ will do WONDERS for the economy (and our asses)!!!!!!
Better think twice before bundling up in that comfy blanket!!! LOL.
Recently, the Indians began attacking the Brits’ Fort Pitt in Pennsylvania. Colonel Bouquet was about to lead an expedition to help the men at Fort Pitt when he received an interesting letter from General Amherst suggesting the use of smallpox as a weapon.
Intrigued, Bouquet wrote back:
“I will try to inoculate the bastards with some blankets that may fall into their hands, and take care not to get the disease myself.”
The blankets were removed from dead British soldiers and, ridden with smallpox, were distributed to the Indiansunder the false pretense that they wanted to “renew their friendship.”
And if you REALLY need us to spell it out for you, the disease has spread furiously throughout the Indian tribes.
Wow, and we thought WE were bitchy!!!!
These Brits are bad, bad boyz!!!!
Good thing we’ve been on the Starvation Diet this week, because we are gonna stuff our faces with crumpets to celebrate!!
In the Treaty of Paris, France had to let go of all its territory on the North American mainland. The British received the land east of the Mississippi, while Spain received everything to the west. France had already secretly given Louisiana to Spain in the Treaty of Fontainebleau.
Au revoir, bitches!! It was nice knowing ya
and your fatty macaroons!!!!
Whose peace party are U going to attend???